“Changing the view to change perception”

Perspectives as well as perceptions change with a change of view. Changing your view is not something that comes easy. In fact, it is extremely difficult to purposefully change or shift your view. View shifting is closely if not exclusively precipitated by "life" events.

Consider the impact that perceptions have in framing or informing our realities. Perceptions shape how we see or interpret events. They shape our worldview.

Arguably, perceptions albeit accurate or not determine often how we approach life let alone work.

The degree of accuracy of perceptions is where conflict, confusion, and chaos lurk. How many times have you experienced a difference of perception or perspective and conflict erupts? A major cause of the aforementioned is both a need to be right as well as a false belief that you can convince, persuade, or "bully" your perception or perspective of an event, situation, issue, or etc.

I recall the moment that I realized that you don't argue perspective or perceptions. They are what they are. However, seeking to understand the view is the first step towards possibly creating a new perspective or perception.

In leadership, all too often, issues escalate due to unresolved conflict. Yet almost always you can trace the escalation to the lack of understanding the "view".

Understanding the "view" takes discipline and a keen understanding of listening and hearing both words and the "heart" underpinning the emotions, feelings, and yes, perspective or perception.

Shifting view in addition to the discipline of listening and hearing requires wisdom of discernment.

Discernment develops from experience, knowledge applied, and humility.

Humility may be the most important aspect of discernment and probably the most lacking.

I offer this personal story I believe combines all three – experience, knowledge, and humility.

We had just arrived in the country (Germany) and our car and household belongings were still in route. Our daughter was two and half. We had been delayed in New York completely messing up our arrival times and biological clock. The good news was the staff assigned to pick us up patiently waited ‐ rank sometimes does have privileges.

We were assigned temporary quarters. Not sure how you put a married couple with a child in Bachelor Officer

Quarters (BOQ) but this was the U.S. ARMY. I still needed to in process. To do so we needed to navigate between four different posts with a two and half year old. Again, why would each of the departments and offices responsible for in processing be on one post?

Without a car, we only had the legendary "green" buses as our transportation.

On one such trip to secure our off post housing the “meltdown” occurred. Our daughter was tired, it was hot, and it just happened ‐ she just dropped on the floor of the bus and went DEFCON 5. She didn't care who was watching, listening, or what.

However, we did.

We were embarrassed. There was nothing we could do except try to console and let her wear herself out.

Eventually she did. I vividly recall the conversations during this memorable life event.

"When did you get in?"

"Where's home?"

"Where are you billeted?"

"How old is she?"

As we were desperately wanting to be invisible, others were engaging us in conversation as if this was just a normal every day event. As we would soon learn, it was. During our two‐year tour, we witnessed many situations similar to ours and as was the case with our fellow passengers that day, we found ourselves reassuring others that this, too, was normal.

Go figure, do two and half year olds have the skills to navigate let alone cope with the changes we were experiencing? Of course not!

In this case our view had been very limited. The experience including the reactions and responses of others shifted our view changing forever our perspective and perception of the natural tendencies of two and half year olds. We were humbled.

Though this life event was part of our learning, our understanding, and our journey as parents, we nonetheless gained valuable insight into perspective as well as perceptions – our own and those of others.

We all view events, activities, circumstances, challenges, and well, life differently. The challenge remains shifting our view to develop awareness and understanding.

The work ahead includes working to shift perceptions and perspectives by changing first our view and then work to create a different view for others.